“What new mystery is this? What blessed backwardness? The Immeasurable One is held but does not resist!”
A few nights ago, I prayed for something specific. As I did it, I caught myself thinking it might be too specific, and I might want to leave God a little wiggle room. It is a seriously foolish man who believes in God but doubts his marksmanship. And as a reminder of that – and, ya know, an answer to prayer – that specific, precise thing happened. It even happened more or less in the exact physical location I imagined as I prayed. It was uncanny.
Still more that I didn’t remember the prayer for another hour or so. Still, small voice indeed.
Now comes the problem: I don’t know what to do with the information. I don’t know what it means. It’s as though I’ve read the next line in a book and I’m trying to predict the ending. I don’t even know the genre of the story. I think that is the oppressive voice many of us hear. Rather than being reassured that I am indeed a component in some design – or as Fleet Foxes put it, “a functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me” – I am depressed to not know where things are going. Maybe something significant is in the works. But maybe I just needed a reminder that the Almighty is not bound by the limits I put on myself.